power, love, and self-discipline

God didn't give me a spirit of timidity, but rather one of power, love, and self-discipline. (II Timothy 1:7)

Will I ever get these three qualities down in perfect harmony, balance, and measure? The leadership gift in me has pursued the power of vision, relationships, teaching, and team. This use of power has seen some success through my ministry career. Some would say a leader who isn't tapping his own power, is a leader who isn't leading. I think I read that in a powerful book somewhere.

The love thing within me, quite honestly, get dismissed like an early-round American Idol contestant. Everyone knows good leaders have obviously low compassion and love quotients... and so others in the church are supposed to make up for this deficiency with their own unique gifts of encouragement and hospitality. That's just how the system works.

Self-discipline can be such a roller coaster of ego, pride, and mustered humility. I am acutely aware of how a leader must exercise disciplines that are widely espoused in most over-priced conferences... like: rise early, run, read, recreate, untuck your shirt, and load your ipod with really hip music. Self-discipline is that "have-to" thing that left alone will die and cause a severe lack of progress and production.

So there you have it. I'm not timid. No way. Too type-A for that, and I have the personality test scores to prove it. God's given me power, love, and self-discipline. I'm good to go. Right?

However, I'm thinking through this a little deeper. Why doesn't God want me to be timid? Why does he want me to have HIS version of power, love, and self-discipline? What if it's really not about the life of a leader I want to live and the success of followership I want to achieve? What if this all goes back to God's mission, Jesus' relational pursuit, and the Holy Spirit's incarnational qualities? Missional, relational, and incarnational life as prescribed by the Author.

In the bulk of my world, timidity (otherwise known as safety) has plenty of room to breathe. However, timidity and living life God's way are two fish that cannot swim in the same gulf. God's mission to reconnect his creation to Himself requires power not found in many of the leadership books found bragging in my office. Required amperage is nothing short of Holy Spirit, divinely-enabled power to bring Jesus to the many vacant-eyed people around me.

Connecting to people relationally so they can know Jesus requires a love way beyond my deficiencies, and doesn't allow for any of my DISC profile excuses. Thankfully God is love, and he offers himself without reservation.

Self-discipline in time, prayer and absorption of the Holy Scriptures is the only way I know the Holy Spirit can live incarnationally in and through me so that others are impacted.

What if power, love, and self-discipline weren't Oprah-esque qualities used to make us better Christians or more successful churches, but rather God's specific tools for mission, relationships, and incarnation?

Funny how one little, often-read verse out of II Timothy can grab you again for the first time.